A Time For Every Season....

Contentment, Mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are. (Webster) Strong States: 1) a perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed 2) sufficiency of the necessities of life 3) a mind contented with its lot   Gulp.... I've never been satisfied with the way things are. In fact, I'll be honest, I am rarely satisfied with anything. Sad, but true statement. I am a recovering perfectionist after all  - in my mind nothing is ever perfect so there are always things to change in every realm of my life. When I was 6 I went to the Rogue Valley musical and told my momma I was going to play the violin because it played such  beautiful music - I thought all about it and when I was in 4th grade I started lessons and played through my college years. When I was 6 I also told my momma I wanted a horse. She mistakenly said if I saved enough money then I could buy one - oh the hopes and dreams I gained by that one statement. So, I s...

I journaled a little bit about the lessons God has taught me these last few years, the lessons that brought me out of being luke warm and into the furnace of refinement: It all begins with Prayer - radical prayers bring radical change! * Not only radical change in you, but in those around you. My husband would say he grew more in the last few years than his entire Christian life put together. Getting to know God is a journey that grows through experiences and faith lessons. Be prepared for a great ride! Diving into God's Word is more exciting than I ever imagined, each precept builds on another and the scripture is illuminated with new discoveries about God's unwavering character. It is like falling in love one page at a time. It just takes time, prayer and daily renewing of the mind. Each passage can be read over and over and yet there are new treasures to be found. Left to my flesh and my own feelings, on any given  day, I'll fall into the happiness cul...

Four years ago I sat humbled after a convicting sermon at church - I wasn't growing because I wasn't consistently reading God's word. I wasn't seeing life change because I wasn't madly in love with the Lord. That day I remember committing to the Lord, out of my helplessness, to renew my mind daily, I determined to grow more intimately with the Lord and meet Him regardless of whether He showed up or not. I didn't want the mundane, I didn't want the duty, I didn't want the guilt - I just wanted to know God. Jesus says, " “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it shall be done for you.”  ~ John 15: 7 All I wanted was intimacy with the Lord - I knew I had salvation, I knew I had eternal life, but at that moment all I wanted was to know God more deeply. I wanted to want to read God's word, I wanted to want hours and hours just Him and Me. I knew there was more to be had and I was finally ...

The beginning of July, I was struggling to get the bills paid without going into savings. We had 4 major expenses coming up and John and I had been praying over how we were going to pay them all without dipping into our savings account. There was a trip to Oregon John really wanted to do, our Jetta needed 600.00 worth of work, the tuition for Drew's school needed to be paid and our fridge stopped working one morning. We had money in savings, but we have been working on saving 3 months living expenses for over a year. I naively thought that not having debt meant that we would just soar through our savings goal! Part of our plans for the summer included John bringing home some income from his side business. This was going to cover Drew's tuition for the next year, since the monthly amount did not fit with our monthly budget. With only a month left before John headed back to work, we were making very little progress towards paying for the added expenses and tuition.  Shortly...

It has been a long 6 months, my little Abby is growing up so fast. I've learned a lot having three kids, I've learned how to pile them all into the back seat of our Jeep, how much time I need to walk out of the house on time, and that eating any green vegetables will give Abby gas and sleepless nights for two days. When Gabers was born I went through 6 month of shock, having  two kids wasn't anything like I expected. I succumbed to the exhaustion and melted into a hum drum existence for about a year. With Abby I promised myself I wasn't going to allow that to happen. I was committed to discipline my body and my mind from the very beginning. A new baby wasn't going to be an excuse card I'd allow myself to play. Slowly over the last 6 months I've been working on discipline - slowly working my way up to going to the gym 3 mornings  a week, reading my bible daily, etc. The culmination of all that hard work was our Weekend away two weeks ago, the speakers enc...

It isn't news to those that live with me, but I've finally come to realize that this pregnancy has brought impatience and a total grouch like behavior. I'm not sure what comes over me, but simple little things like not being able to find the kids shoes set me off. I find myself always thinking, "If only they would....." "... do what I say." "... listen the first time." "... remember to put their things away." "... stop playing Rudolf over and over again." "... remember what I told them." "...stop whining." So, last night as I was sitting totally frustrated with Drew because he wasn't working very hard on learning his memory verse; God hit me over the head with an epiphany on how short tempered I really was becoming. Little silly things that I'd never even worry about were setting me off. I had traded the unimportant for battles and frustration that weren't necessary. My mostly kind w...

Very early this morning I awoke to pains resembling labor, only it was just short term indigestion. Never the less, it left me awake and with some adrenaline to insure I didn't fall back asleep. Memories flooded my mind of the two births I'd already walked through and then gave anticipation towards the pending birth of our daughter. As I lay awake, I meditated on the vast differences between the births of my two boys. Then in the quiet, the Lord showed me Himself through those trials of labor. A labor of love which I willingly accepted. Drew's birth was my hardest, I'd spent 3 months cooped up in bed, no birthing classes, nothing to prepare me to labor - after all I'd spent 3 months keeping myself out of labor, what would make me think of preparing for the actual event? It seems silly now, but at the time I was so consumed with all the things I couldn't do that I forgot to focus on the things I could do. So when the anticipated day, that 24 th day of January, ...

Drew is my sensitive child, as I type he is playing at my feet afraid of all the lightning and thunder outside. He just came over and said, "Mommy I'm afraid, will you pray for me?" After our prayer he said, "Thanks, now I'm not afraid!" Such a blessing this child of empathy is to our family. At preschool yesterday Drew's teacher commented that he is such a caring student. Evidently a child had to spend some time in their class today while his normal class went out to play (he had allergies and couldn't go out). The little boy cried and cried, the class wasn't sure what to make of this new student, but Drew in empathy, went up to him and gave him a hug. Drew told him not to cry and then asked him if they could read books together. Some days its hard being a mom, especially raising little men to be like Jesus. Teaching Drew to love others, share and be generous like Jesus comes with a lot of persecution. We've met so many children that love to...

I'm taking a little sabbatical from blogging. The Lord perfectly worked out a busy February and a March fast to keep my mind focused on Himself. Over three sequential weekends I'll: attended a marriage conference, attended a mothering conference, and fly away on a personal retreat to Oregon to visit my best friend Bethany and read tons of great godly books. At first I was overwhelmed with being gone for so many weekends, but the Lord knew that I needed a retreat to process all the ideas swimming around in my head. I'm coming out of a "dry" time with the Lord. I have them about once a year and the Lord uses those times to reveal various sin or lifestyle changes that need to be made in my life. I'm so excited to be out of the dry spell and am excited again to be inspired by God's word and walking in faithfulness. Coming out of the desert and into the valley makes for a peaceful home, joy filled children, and a very happy husband! It is interesting how the L...

My little man is turning 4, where in the world has all that precious time gone? I pray it has been invested wisely. I can think of many investments I've put into him the past 5 years (his womb time was quite the investment & sacrifice), all those vitamins and organic foods, my hospital stay and bed rest, natural childbirth, a wonderful marriage, extended family that love him, hours each day spent influencing his life, bible time, songs sung, catechism's memorized and lessons taught, discipline time, a few spankings here and there, hugs, kisses, tears wiped, books read, numbers memorized, ... all valuable and important investments into his life. My job is so great - raising a future husband, father, man who truly loves God, doesn't happen by chance, it happens through investments. What I've been mulling over today as Drew's birthday fast approaches are the investments that I've made that are unseen - the prayers I've lifted up to my Father in the quietnes...

There is great freedom in being a Christian – the battle was already fought and our Lord is the victor! The last two weeks I have spend some large quantities of time just being silent – silent before the lord, silent before my family, and silent in all that I am doing about my day. Silence brings forth the benefit of true listening. Now, the Lord has a very funny sense of humor, about 5 days into my thoughtful silence the Lord allowed me to get a nasty cold, which has turned into laryngitis! Obviously, there is much for me to learn and the Lord is helping me along my quest and teaching me how to find Him in the silence of the everyday. My world often seems so chaotic and loud; seeking out silence has refreshed my soul and allowed me to look at all aspects of my life – finding those things that are pure and those that need some New Year adjustments. One thing the Lord has been revealing to me in this silence is the victory I have in Jesus. Galatians 5:1 says, “ It is for freedom that Ch...

We've been having fun this December learning about the coming of our Savior - commonly called Advent. This is our first year adding this tradition so its definitely a work in process. We purchased a set called " adornaments " for the kids a few years back, Drew is finally old enough to enjoy listening to the stories. We set up a small fake tree in the entry way with little lights and each night read a verse out of the Bible which is associated with one of the adornaments . We also added a few of our own - a snowflake to represent Luke 3:16 to remember the importance of water and the miracle of baptism and God's outpouring of love and forgiveness for each of us. "John answered them all, "I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire." We also added an angel which was passed on to me by my Mother In Law, it belonged to her mothe...

This stay-at-home mommy of 2 was deeply encouraged by this article, I encourage you to link over, the excerpt below is just a mere reminder of what we "workers for Him" are called to do each day as we Shepherd our little flock of disciples. I for one didn't do well at shepherding my flock today, I was tired, irritated and longing for the bedtime silence! I pray tomorrow my heart will be much more purposeful and my minds attention focused more on my Shepherd. "If I identify myself as the culture does, as a “stay at home Mom”, one who has no intellectual contribution, gross-national product contribution or status symbol contribution, I become just that: a woman who sees herself as one who has grunted and groaned out another human being and now stays behind her four walls, in self-imposed seclusion. Not much of a vision there---it actually sounds strangely psychotic. If I deem myself as a woman employed by the Creator of everything ever created, as on work assignment i...

“In these pages I tell secrets about…myself because I believe that it is not only more honest but vastly more interesting than to pretend that I have no such secrets to tell. I not only have my secrets, I am my secrets. And you are your secrets.” Frederick Beuchner I read a post today by Ann @ Holy Experience. It tugged at my soul. She wrote a post called, " Of blogging, secrets, porn and truth ." The post started me thinking about why I blog, why don't I just write my thoughts down in a journal unseen by the world? I use to, I wrote a lot about life, thoughts, and the real truth on a blog site unseen by anyone. It held my deepest desires, shame, fears, thoughts. Quiet different that most of the post I put up. My children may read them someday when I am gone, I wonder what they will think of me? Will they see a hypocrite? Will they be astonished at some of the things I wrote? I started blogging the months before my first son was born. The last trimester was hard, isolatin...

I wrote this piece for the Interactive Bible Reading; I love what John said so I thought I'd post for those who aren't participating in Northwood's walk through the Old Testament . 2 Samuel 9, Psalms 63 I had only seen this boy less than a dozen times my entire 4 years of High School. I remember our first encounter vividly because he had a bright smile on his face, which detracted from his awkward walking tempo. He would drag his crooked right foot behind his body and both knees never fully locked into place. I learned later that this boy was a Christian, which explained his bright smile and cheerful demeanor. This boy, who I came to know three months before graduation as John, had endured six surgeries since birth to help minimize the effects of his muscular disease - Cerebral Palsy . John's most invasive, yet beneficial surgery, included the removal of three vertebrates from his lower spine. Tonight I asked my husband to share openly about how people with disabilitie...

I heard Beth Moore tell this story in a Bible Study I took, it was just e-mailed to me so I had to post. I really makes me think about how many times I don't ovey God for fear of what people will think. For those of you who do not know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding speaker and Bible teacher, and the author of several excellent Bible studies. She and her husband of a number of years live in Texas and have two grown daughters. This is one of her experiences: April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville , waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego. I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Hump...

Last night I was blessed to attend a benefit concert for the MidCities Pregnancy Center. The concert was a evening with Steven Curtis Chapman. What a wonderful time we had celebrating life. It was such a humbling experience. Many of you know that Steven lost his youngest daughter Maria in an auto accident a few months back. The evening was spent going back over Steven's songs and contemplating the deeper meanings. Unfortunately, he and his family have entered the group of people who know what it is like to lose someone close. I think every person in that room was asking the same question, "If God were to take my child from this earth, would I still believe that God is God and worship Him?" It was a humble experience being with someone grieving and mourning the loss, yet through his own mourning allowed the audience to see into his heart. What we all saw was a man, questioning, yet steadfast and committed to his Savior. Through his pain, he can already see the good that ha...

John and I just had our annual "Weekend To Remember" marriage conference at the Gaylord. It was an invigorating time with a lot of lessons re-learned. God definitely prepared my heart by using a 30 day encouragement challenge before the conference. I didn't learn any new epiphanies, just gentle reminders of truths I already knew but need to apply! It was so much fun to relax, refresh, and remember God's plan for marriage and family. Here are a few lessons I learned during the 30 day challenge, and had reaffirmed at the Family Life Marriage Conference: Words are Powerful – they can speak life and death into my husband! Only use words to build up, never to tear down. When confronting problems, always speak the truth in love. The Bible even says that I will stand before God and be accountable for every word that comes out of my mouth - ouch! (James 3:5-12, Matthew 12:36) 5:1 Ratio – to maintain healthy communication, give 5 positive experiences (words, appreciation, touc...

Question from today's IBR: How are you making sure the generation after you, your own children and others children are being raised in the faith of Christianity? We just recently started having discipleship time as a family (after many failed attempts!). We are enjoying the simplicity of the book "Big Truths for little Kids." It seems to make our family time easier and more focused on concepts that young children can comprehend. The first three questions we're working on are: Who made you? God What else did God make? God made all things. Why did God make all things? For His Glory I've had fun teaching these simple lessons, asking them throughout the day. It is fun to see how the mind of a 3 year old starts to put things together. (We recently had a discussion where our 3 year old said," God made mommy, daddy, Nana, and me!" When asked, "What about your baby brother?" He replied, "No God didn't make baby Gabe, mommy's tummy made h...

On Sunday I was running around trying to get the boys ready for church. Drew decided to spend 15 minutes trying to go to the bathroom and it messed up my schedule. As we were running out the door I noticed that Drew didn't have any shoes on his feet; in haste and with a not so nice comment to Drew, ran upstairs to find his shoes. When I returned to put on his shoes Drew looked at me and said "Mommy, are you happy in your heart?" I wish I could say I repented but it took the drive to church before I calmed down. Sweet Drew, he was so quiet all the way to church, then when I asked him to forgive me for my bad attitude he said "sure mommy!" You could almost see the relief on his face when he saw that I wasn't upset anymore. What would I do without my two little blessings to teach me valuable lessons?