Life is a conundrum of ups and downs, the last few years have had many. Its interesting to sit and blog about our life, I want my kids to remember the fun, exciting and routines of our daily life, but there is also the reality that we struggle, others struggle in this life. There is a lot of suffering in our world today and its hard for me to dream of raising my children and preparing them for such a world. I was telling John that it makes me want to "run for shelter in the mountains" like the remnant will do in the Great Tribulation. I've spent the last 18 months studying the book of Revelation Precept by Precept and I tell you what - "it aint pretty!" What do I do with that as a mother, prepare, hide, protect, shelter, cry? There are things going on in the darkness that I couldn't even blog about or talk to my husband about. Just yesterday a friend posted a vimeo video on the man now on trial for literally delivering live babies and then killing them prior to them taking their first breath. I'm still in tears and only made it 8 minutes into the film. I want to be educated but this world is so dark that even the things previously done in the darkness are coming acceptable. I am so glad this place is not my home, but raising counter cultural kids who are prepared for such an oppressive and evil society is a hard thing for me to wrap my brain around.
Some friends and I are reading the book Desperate by Sara Mae and Sally Clarkson - we went and watched their interview in Euless last month and had our picture taken with Sara. She is so sweet! I really appreciated the chapter on depression and the very real problem that effects most people in seasons of life. I struggle with it every January - I have since puberty hit around 16. I appreciate their honesty and their suggestions on lighting a candle, reading a book, talking with a friend, etc. I can't say it wasn't something I didn't know, but the encouragement from mom's ahead of me that this is normal for a season - normally when life is busy and hectic and your sleep deprived!
I've become more of a reader in the last few months, trying to avoid facebook and spend more time seeking the encouragement and support of other mom's who have gone before me. A lot of the books are on finding joy and the rest are on homeschooling. I am excited to have the boys home next year and follow the schedule I prepared, I love homeschooling them (Abby too though she is just into books and sensory bins - nothing formal). The time I spend each day with the kids teaching is the highlight of my day - God has been so gracious to give me a passion for educating them. I never dreamed I would love it this much.
At dinner each night we share some of our highs and low's from the day, so I thought I'd list some of my high's and low's from these past few months.
- Not sleeping great these days, always tired but can't sleep, or sleep too much at the wrong times
- High's/Lowe's of depression season were not as easily handled with natural methods this year.
- work stresses that make me want to give up or quit
- Drew is struggling with reading, even with the extra year, the pediatric ophthalmologist specialist says it directly relates to his vision problems that are not correctable - but he will adapt and come up with his own methods as he gets older.
- John's back and hand pain are getting worse, he is tired a lot and not quite himself
- Sickness has been rampant in our house since December - tired and weary
- house selling debacle cost us some money to get worked out- still in our house and working on being content until God lands the right country house in our lap.
- Our family dog is old and having kidney issues, I know she won't be with us for much longer.
- high school friend is dying from cancer and leaving behind a wonderful husband and 5 kids, how I weep for their family.
|Drew's Sunflower Impression|
|Starry Night - by Drew|
- Kids are loving art class and drawing and creating the most amazing pictures and objects, I love watching them use their imaginations.
- refinance finally went through!
- We are playing more games and spending more quality time cuddling on the couch reading books.
- I finally have gotten into using my Library card - lost of great books ordered and ready when I get to the library! I just ordered The Well Trained Mind - I didn't realize how big of a book it was, it might take me longer than 3 weeks!
- ACA is almost over and we can take a much needed break!!!! Drew did a great job and we had such a great experience!
- Abby potty trained and is even dry at night, she is progressing in speech and is up to age appropriate conversations.
- Chris Tomlin's CD has been a huge source of worship and encouragement these past few weeks!
- Spring is here and we're outside a lot more!
- We're on track to have Gabe's 1st half of Kinder completed by May (he begged to start in January even though he wouldn't start kinder officially until August) and Drew will be done with 1st grade! These boys just can't help but put a smile on your face!
- Gabe loves homeschool and begs to do his work every morning, such a change from what I experienced with Drew.