Thursday, January 24, 2013

Inscriptions for Drew: Your 8!

My sweet Drew on your 8th Birthday,

How do I begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I smile and delight in who you are. Do you know  that we almost never met? When you  were 23 weeks young I went into premature labor and landed myself 3 months and a week on bed-rest with tons of medications. You are a miracle! So much for my plans for an all natural - home birth. I should have known then that you were going to be my outside the box child.

Yep  - I adore you sweet boy, nothing in life prepared me to be your mother. You came out small and sleepy and spent a year puking on everyone and sleeping 20 hours a day. Then, somehow you just woke up and never looked back. From the time your personality developed I knew you were going to have determination and lots of energy. You loved routines and predictability in my womb, that never stopped. I know that God created you for greatness my son, you are God's boy, never loose your identity in Him.

You made me cry this past weekend, we were at Target and you were looking to spend your gift card on Lego's. A little boy ran bye us, trailing after his hurried mother. The little boy tripped over his feet and all his items fell on the floor. As the mother turned back in irritation, you ran to the little boy and picked him up and handed him the items he had dropped. He stood there in shock that you had come to rescue him. Then you quietly returned to the Lego isle and picked out your Creationary Logo set that turns into an Eagle, Beaver and Scorpion like nothing had happened.How often am I that hurried mother - how often do I get exasperated with your jumping or wiggling or constant motion? You have developed more of my character than anyone else - it is God who I must lean on to parent such a unique and perfectly designed child. I know all that energy will soon be manageable, directed at the plans and purposes of God. Its in this waiting time that I must remember I am an architect daily following the plans of God to train you up in the blueprints of God.

At that moment when you returned back to me at Target, all my fears of you not reading well or being business than most children or not being able to focus  - seemed rather immaterial. Your heart my son is precious in the sight of others and in the sight of God. That is truly what matters - how could I get so caught up in fitting you in a box, failing to see that you blossom in your own time. My world was thrown off kilter when you were born and I'm such a blessed mother to have been given such a treasure. I stand in awe as I see how truly you love this life - you love everything about God's creation, how the beavers make their dam's or how we harvest honey - you pepper me with questions and delight in hearing story after story. 

You heart is pure and soft towards the things of God my son, follow the Lord wherever He leads and you will never be disappointed.

Love,



Mom

Monday, January 14, 2013

Happy Birthday Abby




Inscriptions for Abby - Your 3!

My dear Abby,

Your 3! How is that humanly possible to already reach the desirable age of 3. I won't lie, I've been looking forward to 3 the  moment you turned 2, there was just something about this 2 year that made me appreciate the glorious age of maturity. You had a fun year, I say you because all the mischief and messes were quite delightful to you. Abby, you loved to throw all the clothes out of your drawer every night and at naptime - when I would go in to let you out (yes we have to lock you in), you would just smile and me and giggle. You love messes!

You love every ounce of life - wet wipes too might I add. You love to pull out that poutie lip and cry those crocodile tears for attention - sadly it often works. Your hair grew so long and it just loves to hang in your face, making you all the sweeter to watch cry. Your personality is explosive - you live on the highest of high's and the lowest of lows = thankfully the lows are far and few between.

I remember your birth, your trauma and your trip out our two story window - yet here you are, 3 and healthy and singing "Happy Birthday" to yourself all day long. We had a brief scare with your hearing this year, but God intervened and created you with perfect hearing after all. You started speech therapy and now chatter all day long about Gabe and Drew and "Daddy being at work!"

Abby, we blessed you with girl toys for Christmas! It was so exciting for me to pick out your first doll house and buy baby dolls and accessories. I love watching you care for your babies, its so sweet and natural for you. I laugh as I see Drew and Gabe whacking them with swords and you running over to protect the babies from brothers wrath. You have the most awful scream - it is horrible! I pray daily for your future spouse and that God would heal you from that blasted scream. Your brothers also hate it and have learned from experience to ignore your tears - so far your outbursts are much less!

I am so blessed to be your mommy, you make me laugh and smile at myself so much. I am reminded when I watch you how much joy there is in life. I'm so glad God blessed me with a child that is a daily reminder to not take myself so seriously! What a smile you have Miss Abby, you light up the room as you run away from life. You keep me on my toes, maybe that is why loosing 10 pounds in 2012 wasn't so hard?

God has plans for you future Abby Mae - plans that will use your dynamic personality for the glory and Majesty of Heaven.

Love,
Mommy

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Regret

If your a blog reader who reads about the lives of moms who share all the wonderful successes of life and leave their blog with regret that you aren't "quite so fun" or "yell a little too much," then this blog post might be for you. See this blog post in one where I spill my heart of regret for the year 2012 and sadly reflect back in the hope that I'll learn lessons and see mistakes not to be repeated again.

I won't lie, this year was the roughest of my life.  I went into 2012 oblivious to the storm that was coming. In March of 2012 my company of 14 years was awarded a large contract and grew - 150% in 9 months. My quiet, predictable job that I'd mastered years earlier,  slowly demanded more and more time.  I kept telling myself it would get better, it had to eventually right? My "mommy" life of play dates and park trips became non existent.

Last night I sat on the couch after 14 hours of unpredictable work - I  can't sleep, my heart is racing, I'm  totally stressed and my mind wouldn't shut off. I wasn't looking forward to the future and was so wrapped up in work that I couldn't see above the fog. I felt dead inside.

I'm a Christian, how can I feel this way?

Could it be workalolism?
Not tending to my spiritual health?
Perfectionism?
Family guilt?

The list goes on an on.

But instead of being defeated, I must get back up and go back to my first love - love of God, love of family ideals, family dinners, park trips and smiles and giggles and hugs and kisses and date nights. My job can no control my emotions or have a hold over me any more. That place is reserved for God. I go back to the words of my favorite song - a Prayer for My Home - that brings me back to all I find dear and treasured.


Prayer For Home
 Grant them peace, most precious gift of all
Keep the worried world far away and small
When they return, may quiet fill their souls,
Dearest Lord, keep them safe within it's walls.

May the stone be cool beneath their feet.
The canyon breezes circle soft and sweet
When darkness falls, the stars and opal moon
Find them wrapped in each other, ever warm.

Chorus:
May it be a refuge for their love,
A harbor for their deepest prayer.
May they come to flourish in the grove,
Grow ever nearer to You there.

Many a burdened friend in their company rises,
A heavy heart is soon released to fly.
May their table be blessed with laughter and with grace
And by the comfort of kinship be surprised.

Chorus

May the cold wind blow far from their front door
May the winter rains never bring them harm
May their hearthfires burn throughout the night
Grant them peace until morning's perfect light.
 

~ Fernando Ortega ~