Wednesday, October 12, 2011
I hear pillow fights downstairs and daddy making Drew's knight constume for his "Book Character" day at Venture tomorrow.
I see a mess of an office!
I touch dry and weary hands that have been serving all day. I am tired.
I'm praying for a family we know who just met their new daughter in China, her name is Hannah and she is adorable and a perfect fit for this God breathed family. Hannah is grieving the loss of her orphan life while trying to embrace this new gift of being a daughter: grieving is a process that takes time.
I'm upstairs blogging and trying to get rid of my massive headache that has plagued me for three days now. I'm thankful for the rain and wind, but my body is rebelling!
As I sit, pray, listen, I just have this all encompassing joy within my heart. I think of sweet Hannah and how that orphan life she longs to go back to is all she knows. As her mommy wrote recently, her days of being called an orphan are numbered, this is her last night to be called an orphan. Tomorrow will be her first day to be a daughter and sister. Hannah is now a beloved daughter who has a family and an identity. Yet, grieving is a process that takes time.
I have joy, not because I have a perfect life, the opposite actually. Jesus said that those who follow Him will have trial and be persecuted. I sit and pray with great joy because I have an identity and a family and a purpose for the numbered days I'm on this earth. The past few weeks it has seem like a trial, it has seemed like a shift in the direction God is taking me. I'm grappling with the worn path of what I know verses the new path I'm being guided towards. I am growing up, I'll be 32 in a few days. The trials and lessons from youth have produced their intended result in my life and now I'm called to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I see Jesus in a new light, I am the privilaged daughter of the King and with that title comes great trials and responsability. I'm grateful for the growth and life changes that have prepared me for this place. What the future hold - I'm uncertain where it will lead me. But I have confidence that this phase of silent trials in my life will too produce their intended result. I grieve the innocent days of my youth, but embrace today with great joy.
So tomorrow I will again press on, I will not grow weary of doing good and with continue to invest into the hearts of my children. I will again remind them that they are children of the King and with that comes responsibility. I will continue on this path and not be discouraged, for the Lord is with me!
Thou wilt make known to me the path of life; In Thy presence is fulness of joy; In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever.