Today I hit the bottom - I reached the end of my patience and it was so embarrassing. It was one of those times when I knew it was coming - it had been creeping up for the last 4 days and I just wasn't sure what to do about it. I just needed time to breath, think without kids, spend some quality time talking to my sweet husband and maybe throw in a nap?
So my story begins two weeks ago when my sweet, loving husband left for an adventure in Vietnam. He arrived home Saturday and I was so excited to finally get him home. I had cleaned the house, done all the laundry and dishes and was excited to get my love tank filled with some quality time. After all, I'd had 12 days of caring for kids and the house and very few adult conversations. To say I was running on fumes would be an understatement.
After 1 hour in traffic, an extra 15 mile detour, I finally arrived at the airport and picked up my man! John was very tired and feeling a little sick from 24 hours of travel. He did sweetly recap his trip for me, knowing I was dying to have a real conversation. We arrived home to three excited and boisterous children who were so excited to see their daddy! Daddy on the other hand was tired - he did manage to stay up and spent time with the kids - sweet man of mind. So that night, when the house was a wreck, the kids were cranky, the kitchen had exploded with banana bread, suitcases were strewn about, I looked around and felt totally alone and overwhelmed. After the kids went to bed, so did John, and I was left to my own pity party.
So now we're at Sunday morning, don't you love the peace and harmony that ensues on Sunday mornings? Yes I always wonder what our Sunday mornings leading up to church will look like - today it was a doosie! First, the kids spilled cereal all over the kitchen floor, the banana bread mess was still in the sink, and my sweet man was still sleeping at 8:30 am. I knew it was totally illogical to want him to get up and help me - he was jet-lagged after all. But, I had been serving these kids for 12 days - breakfast, lunch and dinner plus a bazillion snacks - I just didn't want to wipe or prepare anything else!
I grabbed my bad attitude and my coffee and sat down to feed Abby her yogurt, but she refused. I set the yogurt on the table, sipped my coffee, then went upstairs to get Abby some church clothes - I also told the boys their outfits weren't quite church material - they needed to match! I arrived back downstairs to Drew reprimanding Abby, "Abby, get back in your chair, don't climb on the table!" As Abby was scooting back into her chair, she backed into the yogurt and sat right in it. The yogurt went all over her bottom and chair and the floor. I picked her up to wash her off, but she ran off, so I focused on the floor and chair since running after my 18 month old didn't seem realistic. Not 2 minutes later I heard Gabe yelling "Abby, gross you got it all over the floor and my bike!"
"What!" I jumped up and saw that sweet Abby had taken her yogurt covered diaper and sat on Gabe's little trike, then in her haste swung off the yogurt covered bike, twisting her diaper. I guess in her excitement she decided to pee and it all landed in 2 puddles next to the bike. I was not pleased!
With a frown and my bad attitude, I breathed deeply and then moved Abby away from the mess and went in search of a bath towel, since there was a lot of pee on the floor. While I was away, Abby got back on the bike and rode right through the puddles of pee. She then tried to get off the bike and slipped and fell right in the middle of the pee. She was covered - 5 minutes before we're to leave for church and she was covered in pee!
This is the scenario that brought me to my breaking point - I lost it! I grabbed my pee covered daughter who was now screaming hysterically because in the fall, she had bashed her head onto the floor; I ran upstairs and put her in the bath tub - diaper and all. All the while yelling "I'm done, I'm really done, I'm done!" By this point the boys were hiding in their room. I found John in the bathroom half asleep, his eyes were as wide as a raccoon, just staring at his crazy wife who was acting totally nuts! "What is wrong?" He so patiently asks. That wasn't the answer I'd hoped for and I spouted off about how I needed help and was finished! I'm not sure what I was finished with - but then again I guess I new I was being irrational!
The ride to church was very quiet, before we arrived Drew smiled at me and said in his calm, 6 year old, wise voice, "Mom, maybe after church you won't be quite so grouchy?"
I just want you to know my husband is a saint - first he brought me coffee during 2nd service at church, talked to me for an hour in the coffee shop, took the boys to the circus today (another long story) and left me at home with a sleeping Abby and a 1 hour massage. I spent 3 wonderful house cleaning the house, reading my Bible, catching up on some work and getting a massage. He is the one jet lagged and I'm the one who ended up with the 5 star care. I'm happy to report that the love tank is again full, quality time has been had, mommy's attitude has been put into check, forgiveness has been asked, and all is well again in the Williams house. Have I mentioned what a great husband I have and what a crazy women he married?