Friday, February 11, 2011

Ugly Beautiful

I hate routine, yet I love its results. The past few weeks we've been off routines and out of town and sick with colds  and life seems to yearn for rhythm again. My body aches  for the gym yet despises getting up early - it is the ugly beautiful.

716. Son's missing glasses

717. The question I've  been pondering all month, "Will God ever be enough?", ever since reading chapter two of Ann's Book ~ One Thousand Gifts. God say's I am enough, why can't that be enough for this strong willed soul?

718. The struggle of living an in-between life - Beauty vs Chaos, Flesh vs Spirit, Life vs Death, Joy vs  Cynicism. I want to truly live in God's graces - why is it such a battle.

719. Moment by Moment Beauty ~ Seen in the mundane, the laundry (Thank you for children, husband, life), the meals (thank you for provision), the beauty of creation (yard of birds searching), and the trials of daily life (making me stronger in Christ).  

720. Seeing the miracles - "Eucharisteo always proceeds the miracle!" Looking, seeking, hunting for miracles today.

721. A sleeping  baby on the plane, giving me 90 minutes to read, reflect, and run in my imagination.  It was appreciated more because the flight going, wee one was awake for almost the whole flight - fighting and wrestling and crying for her bed. I arrived in Seattle exhausted, late and without a rental car, thankful to just arrive and get off the plane.

722. Sweet aunt who opens her home to our chaos, welcomes our friends and invites with good food.

723. Wedding remembrances - the vows, the covenant, the deep emotions when two people commit to forever.

724. Recalling my naive heart that went into marriage very "me" focused ~  this journey outside of self, this journey to get back to the  garden before sin and Satan and sacrifices. Marriage brings out our best and our worst - the ugly beautiful of transformation from old to new. Marriage brings out the battle - the battle to truly live in Christ! 

725. Sin, the garden, the serpent - all ugly beautiful. For if we had never had sin and Satan and sacrifice we would have never experienced the Ephesians 3 18-19 love "... grasping how wide and long and high and deep  the love of Christ is and knowing this love which surpasses knowledge—this love that is filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

726. Love which surpasses knowledge - I want that and am uncovering it by deeply breathing Eucharisteo ~ Grace ~ Joy ~ A braid of beauty.,

727. Little boys hugs after a few days away.

728. New pantry shelves made with love from my husband as a surprise while I was away. I just love this man of mine!

729. Another snow day with husband home to help me recoup from time  changes and sleeplessness and stresses. I'd never imagined a whole 5 days of him home ~ extra  help during busy audits and month end.

730. Visit from Grandma Carol -  a nice dinner with family!

731. Snow that inspired little one to pray and build life experiences on a weakling faith. The questions swimming in his mind,  "Does God answer prayers?"  Sweet conversations about how God always answers - sometimes with a "Yes" that brings Him great joy, sometimes with a "No" that is always for our best, and other times with a "Wait" to walk in faith and learn patience. 

732. Two great school days back into routines and  rhythms  ~ Snow and Sleet have brought a lot of chaos and lack of structure to our days. Good to get back into a more structured form of learning - though the unschooled approach was fun for a week or  two!

733. Geography by Ann ~ Drew and I (Gabe too when he isn't too wiggly) are enjoying learning about the home that the Lord made for us. I guess I don't remember much from those long days of school because I'm learning along with Drew about the Troposphere and Mesosphere and Stratosphere. I love the use of Greek and Latin words on this journey and how  they are put together into descriptive meanings like - ball or water vapor. Wow, I didn't know about good and bad ozone or the upper and lower atmospheres! Home learning is just as relevant for mommy as it is for wee ones! I'm so glad Drew is finally old enough, I've had this curriculum for two years and have been waiting for him to  be interested!

734. Marveling at Aurora Borealis - We were reading about the Northern lights and watched a National Geographic video, God just screamed out to us "I love you" and "I create wonder and beauty for you to enjoy."

735. Smell of fresh, new baby. 

736. Continued favor ~ John is loving his job as a special education teacher, despite lots of paperwork and unexpected challenges, he is thriving. Join us in praying that John remains in the same job next year - districts are cutting back and cutting teachers, since John has one more year before his probation ends, he would be easily cut if the situation occurs.

737. Energetic children running and screaming at the park after days of being cooped up inside.

738. A rental car and the sweet man who found me one at 2 am!

739. Birthday pancakes ~  delighting in the sweet home grown memories and excitements of my children! 

740. Special Plate that my children long to receive at meal times.

741. The boys Character chart that when used brings out the best in ME. when not used  brings out my sour attitudes. 

742. Visit to the FW Stock Show before the weather turned cold. The boys loved the roping and tractors!  The cow milking was really exciting too.

743. Little girl with bright blue eyes enjoying a sunny warm day outside.

744. Telling myself "No" and sticking to it.

745. Dog eager for a walk, wagging tail as we leave for a quit time of reflecting & prayer.

746. Chris Tomlin singing in my IPOD as I marvel at the beauty of creation.

747. Husband who cleans up my messy kitchen each evening ~ always with a smile.

748. Work completed for another day, close of the month finished a day early.

749. Sweet words spoken between brothers.

750. Sleeping in!

 ~ Melissa ~

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