So, this blog came into being back in 2005 - a tale of great and small and mighty moments that all relate life's circumstances to God's plan. The good, bad, ugly, redeemable, and real - put out there for my children and those brave souls who dare look at this place. All will see in plain black and white - many times unedited and not proofed since that takes time and I don't have much these wonderfully busy days.
Williams History Lesson: Back in 2005 I lay in a hospital room, alone, depressed, pumped up on tons of drugs I can't spell or pronounce, shut in from the outside world - I literally couldn't even go out of my room except to have ultra sounds every 4 days. After about a month I finally was awarded a wheel chair ride once every few days and a daily morning shower! Once, when it snowed, John snuck me out to capture snowflakes on my tongue!
Though hard for me to even imagine now, it had become hard to speak to others on the phone about what transpired that given day - many times I couldn't even remember. I was broken and felt totally abandoned by God. Much of the time I outwardly looked ok, but I was a great deceiver - my mind wasn't stimulated like it had been before and I wasn't really engaged most of the time - it felt like I was living out a bad, hazy dream. John remembers I cried a lot!. The Lord heard my cries, but in his sovereignty remained silent. John says I almost died, I probably did. Now, many years later I don't remember very much about that time in my life. Scary to think that I lived through it, but can't remember details. There were other crazy family, financial, and frustrating situations that compiled this chaotic time in my life. It wasn't just being in the hospital - it was that every area of my life was seemingly falling apart before my bedridden eyes. As Anne Shirley said in Anne of Green Gables, I was in the "depths of despair." In the picture above I was 32 weeks and had been in the hospital about 21 days. The picture was taken in December and I returned home on bedrest on January 11th of 2005.
Our first blue eyed blessing arrived safely and healthy almost 5 weeks early on January 24th,
In my attempts to let others know the medical details of my life I posted a blog on a baby website that would hopefully house pictures of our expected little blue eyed bundle - AKA "Drew." That baby page housed much of Drew's first two years - pictures, stats, and special moments. It also revealed a little of the broken pieces of faith I was trying to put back together. The reality was, now that I have an unmedicated perspective, that God was there! He just chose not to answer me in the way I wanted. He chose to let me sit in my dark, depressed room and express emotions, live moments, capture memories that I would need later in life for my story. I also needed a smack over the head so that I could put my husband in the position of authority for our growing family. John needed to see me weak to stand up and lead. In God's soverienty He remained - silent. That silence only last about 6 months - but the effects will be influencing my faith until the moment I take my last breath.
I grieved.... I chose .... I overcame.... He Answered...I gained perspective!
Here are a few reasons why believers should record their family His-Story (maybe not on a public blog, but a private one or in a yearly journal ):
- History: It is a historic retelling of God's plan, protection, and deliverance. Our kids will need to obey and receive God's plan, they will need protection and deliverance. What a reward to begin this process now! The stories of our lives will live long past our earthly life through the retelling of history.
- Faithfulness: (Vs 33) God always fulfills His promises: our children need to know that God is faithful and our stories are a great way to reaffirm this message.
- Freedom: (Vs 38) Forgiveness of sins is proclaimed and we are FREE! If anyone, other than ourselves, needs this message, its our kids! Mine sin on a constant basis! They need to know that momma sins too and God is Faithful to Forgive our greatest and smallest offenses. Children and peers need to hear about our struggles, it builds a bridge to intimacy with others and intimacy with God.
- Lasting: stories relate well to children, they solidify in word pictures hard to understand concepts about God and man and sin and good and evil.
- Perspective (Vs 40) We all need to see that God is accomplishing a work in our lives - in this very moment! A mighty work that no one will ever believe, such miraculously orchestrated that it has to be written down!
- For Others (Vs 45) His-Story is for everyone - Jews and Gentiles - Neighbor or National - Child or Adult. Everyone needs this message! I've heard it said that the best testimony is our story because no one can argue with ones own life experiences. There are also those who believe that they are unworthy of eternal life, they need to know that Christ on the cross redeemed the most unimaginable of sins. Salvation is available to all!
- Light to the World- (Vs47) We can't be light (attractive) in a dark world unless we look different. True believers look different and should be asked frequently why they act different or look different or care differently that the world - not in religious checklist Christianity, but in real, authentic Christ lived out daily in my love for others. We're to be generous givers of time, resources and our lives to an unbelieving and dying world. Those living in darkness should ask us and we will have His-Story to share!
Pray along with me -- for the world to awaken and be captivated by God's Story lived our through Our Story!