Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Survived

I survived my first day home alone with three children. It started with about 3 hours sleep because Abby was up all night crying due to constipation. I also survived spilled juice, ice all over the floor, a playroom explosion, and put out a few arguments between brothers. I managed to get some good book reading time in with the boys and played "camping" with them in their walk in closet. The only bad part was I fell asleep and woke up minutes later with two boys jumping ontop of me. Overall it was a good day, but I'm feeling totally overwhelmed with life, probably a little depression mixed in too.

Adjusting to change is always hard for me - thus the past 9 months has been hard because there has been lots of  change. There is so much I want to accomplish with the boys, but haven't had much ambition since getting pregnant, then having high blood pressure, then the chaos of our little preemie. Now that life is getting to a new normal I just expect to jump in and do all the things I had missed over the past 9 months, but that isn't the case. Three kids is a lot of work, pumping, feeding, reading my Bible,  being up half the night, trying to cook, do a little laundry, pray for grace, play with my sweet kids, smile, have fun, pick up spills, kiss bo bo's, smile again, read a few books, answer the phone, pray for mercy, then add some work in there too and it all just seems impossible to do well.

Add to the above with a burden of deciding how to educate Drew next year. I have a desire to home-school our kids and homeschool them well (my type A, prefection coming out) - but don't really know if I can pull it off - life isn't perfect and my expectations may be unrealistic. The other option is to put Drew in a private kindergarden at his present pre-school but that costs a lot of money, or send him to public. I really don't feel called to send him to public so I'm left with only two options and I  can't decide, I've wobbled between the two for over a week. Do I start homeschooling this year, or wait one more year when things are a little calmer and Drew and Abby are a little bigger? Also there is the issue of my job and how in the world I will fit it all in and do them all well. God certainly has me here in this place for a reason, I just wish He would tell me exactly what He wants me to do! Until then, I will wait patiently on the Lord and keep laying this burden at His feet. I know He will answer me when I call, I just need to be patient and obedient while I wait.

On another note, Abby is doing well, very fussy since she is still constipated - we're on day 6. Here is hoping tonight is better than last night! She is eating a lot, thus the double chin, she is also holding her head up better. Abby loves to be held, swaddled, or in a front pack. She also enjoys sleeping on her stomach elevated over her boppy.

We spent the week with Grandma Patti , we all had a wonderful time and  I really enjoyed the extra hands! The boys loved playing and singing and reading books with Grandma! Their favorite thing to play was "camping" which involved getting out all the blankets and pillows and roasting 'hot dogs" (Foam Nerf Ammo) and going to "sleep" in their makeshift tent. Very fun! Drew also showed off his two wheeler action and rode his big boy bike all by himself. He actually learned back in December but I hadn't posted on it or captured any photo's of the big event. Now that the weather is nicer we'll be getting outside much more! I feel like I've been living inside for a whole 9 months! Spring is in the air and I can't wait for some Spring planting over the next month or two!

Drew was able to go on a Daddy date tonight to Medieval Times and see jousting and horses. They are sure to have even more sword fighting over the next few weeks! It fits perfectly with the book we love called " The Squire & The Scroll." Drew is sure to be excited when he gets home tonight.

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